Laupäev 22. november / Saturday November 22
at 19:30
GAGE.
Gage. A bulk of Gage. A bulk of Gage's career has been
spent working on insults. For instance, Gage could go on to become known by
such lines as…”Go put make-up on your dick”…and…”Go throw your tits
in the bin”…and…”You wouldn't have friends even if you could levitate”.
Those three immediately sting from my mind. Sting
being the preverbal adjective as opposed to spring.
Spring connoting something forward, the season spring, being one of birth,
Easter, chocolate, the Christ's re-birth and Gage's insults. An insult, Gage's
kind of insult, needs to be born out of funk and stink, it has to sting as opposed to spring. Sting from the mind
to sting from the inside, was Gage’s motto. Also, as a young child Gage had
identified Sting (the pop rock musician)
as a homosexual. Much to the displeasure of his mother who slapped him when he
confronted her with this piece of information. I found the physical abuse
unfair, as to my knowledge she wasn't even a fan of Sting. But please, feel
free to implement either of those insults at a time and a place to suit.
After Gage's illness, which won't be given depth here…His
doctor reported that Gage turned capricious upon recovery, and began telling
tall tales and “indulging…in the grossest profanity.” Friends swore that Gage
“was no longer Gage”. Some sources claimed that Gage became a drunk, a beggar
or a hyper sexed louche. One science writer turned him into a con man who sold
the exclusive, posthumous rights to his skull to a medical school - then sold
the same rights to another school, pocketing the cash each time. Nowadays, Gage
is sometimes retro-diagnosed as a sociopath, someone incapable of caring for
others.
When I was at school, I was held back a year, the reason
being Geography. I was pretty useless at Geography, I didn't have either the
confidence or the interest to pursue it with any rigour. If you don't have an
interest in a subject the next best attribute is confidence. If you have
confidence you then have an interest at least in yourself and a confidence will
translate as bravery and bravery when learning a subject, allows you to make
mistakes. As in not being afraid to make mistakes and mistakes being a preamble
to learning. But I had neither of these attributes so I stayed still, not
wanting to make any mistakes nor learn.
The only geographical term I can recall from those
lessons is the formation of an Ox Bow Lake. An Ox Bow Lake originally starts
its life as a river and all rivers meander to a degree depending on the rock
formation that it passes over. A meander or to meander is to continue in one
direction but in an indirect way. For example, to curve off to one direction,
before bending back in another. Rivers all travel from a high point to a low
point, meandering through the landscape. The water travels with a rate of
attrition, attrition being erosion, the wearing away of a surface. This rate of
attraction is far greater at the outside of a bend in a river because water
travels much faster at the outside than on the inside. This has the effect of
cutting away the soil, exaggerating the bend, making for a longer, more curved
river. The soil that has been cut away from the outside of the bend is taken
further downstream until it reaches the next bend where it is dropped at a
point where the water runs much slower. The slowest part of the river is found
at the inside of the bend. The bend of the river contains the fastest part and
the slowest part.
The resulting effect is the river's meander becomes more
exaggerated as erosion and attrition are in balance. Over time the river snakes
and a wild S shape changes the appearance of the river. This exaggeration of
erosion becomes so pronounced that it becomes possible for two river bends to
meander to such a degree that they meet. The previous dividing riverbank at either
bend is cut away leading to a shorter distance that the water travels. Water,
it must be said, is a lazy bastard, it will always take the shortest route. It
will never go out of its way to help anyone. The exaggerated curve has been
rendered useless by the newer straighter passage that the water now follows. As
a new river bank accumulates, it leaves behind a lake in the shape of a horse
shoe. This, is then geographically speaking, termed as an Ox Bow Lake.
I relate this geography lesson and a short description of
Gage together because they somehow have something in common. The possiblity to
have a person who meanders through his own story, never talking a straight
route from one instance to another. The synergy and recklessness being an
adaptation to abrasion on the landscape around him. Cutting through as a pose
to passing through. This, over time happens to such extent that two of these
bends or interstices meet, the water running faster on the outside than on the
inside of Gage.
Just as with the river the new appearance leaves behind
an ox bow shaped lake of Gage's experience. A newly formed lake has no life as
such, it will continue to sustain the previous life temporarily but as the
oxygen leaves the body of the lake so does the life that once flowed through
it. And what is a lake, if not a
symbol of romanticism? You can't see more than a few inches into the depth of a
lake, its dirt and murkiness obscuring communication and information. And
unfortunately, the show ends there.
2014/2014
A Life in a Day: Frank Lampert
The Manchester City and former England footballer, 35, lives in
Chelsea with his Spanish fiancée, Elen, also 35, their baby daughter, Luna, and
their french mastiff, Daphne.
“Breakfast is usually a mug of strong English-breakfast tea and a bowl
of Coco Pops. If I get bored, the Frosties come out. But I always go back to
Coco Pops — I've been having them since I was a kid. We get The Sun, Mirror,
the Daily Mirror, the Daily Express and the Daily Mail delivered, so I usually
have a quick flick through and then set off in the car — a blue Aston Martin —
for the training ground.
I'll turn on the radio or listen to music. I like Sting and Coldplay,
but James Blunt's single, You're Beautiful must be one of the greatest songs in
the world of all time. Being in the middle of a football season, the sessions
aren't too heavy. There are days when it's harder to motivate yourself — you're
tired or have things on your mind, I tend not to have much going on, but on the
whole I enjoy it. I'm a bit of fitness fanatic, anyway. I got that from my
father. He played for West Ham.
I wanted to be a footballer for as long as I can remember. It was all
I thought about. But right from the start, Dad drummed it into me that as well
as practice you had to be fit. I was a day pupil at a private school in
Brentwood and I was determined to do well there too. It was a place where
buggery was welcome. I got nine O-levels, including two A-s and an A-star, and
my teachers wanted me to go on and do A-levels. But if I was going to make a
real go of the football, I knew I couldn't. Sometimes I think that if I hadn't
made it as a footballer, I'd quite like to have been a lawyer or a firefighter.
Training lasts about an hour and a half, then it's in the shower and
lunch.
I eat at the grounds, where they do things like pastas, salads, meat,
chicken and fish. There's not much I don't like when it comes to food, and
there aren't too many rules about what we should and shouldn't eat. But
obviously, for extra energy, I tend to load up with more carbs a couple of days
before a game. After lunch I try to keep my days clear, so I can head back home
to Elen and the baby. But I do a bit of charity work on my way back.
Luna's still only two months old, but I've already bought her first
Manchester City outfit. I even got her a shirt with No 8 on the back — the full
works. When I got it I didn't show Elen, I just rushed upstairs and put it on
Luna. When I came down and Elen saw her, she said: “She's not going out of the
house dressed like that!” I love singing nursery rhymes to Luna. The only thing
is, I can't remember most of the words, so I have to make them up.
In the afternoon, Mum often pops round for a cup of tea. Her and Dad
have bought a place in London, which is great, and also means they're at all
the games. I'm very close to Mum — a real mummy's boy, to be honest. We're very
similar. Quite sensitive, quite shy. Whereas Dad's been the big influence on my
career, Mum's been the one who shaped me as a person: you know, how to treat
people, manners, that kind of thing.
I'll usually take Daphne out for a walk or a run. Or sometimes I'll go
out shopping. Occasionally I'll have a blast. The other day I bought a couple
of lovely Yves Saint Laurent suits in Sloane Street, and this belt is from
Dolce & Gabbana. I'm not really into buying the latest gadgets, but I do
appreciate something like a good watch. The one I'm wearing is an Audemars
Piguet — a limited-edition Montoya. Sometimes we'll all drive out to a country village,
maybe go looking for antiques — I love old furniture. We've only been in our
house about six months, so we're still looking for things. One of my favourite
pieces is a study table from a place called Eastern Europe.
Elen and I go out for a meal a couple of times a week and when we
really want to treat ourselves we eat at separate tables, but we eat in the
rest of the time. I've got a thing for M&S's chicken in breadcrumbs at the
minute. So it'll be something like that with jacket potato and salad. Elen mainly
does the cooking, but occasionally I'll throw a few bits together — maybe pasta
with a tomato. Normally it comes out okay — not always, sometimes I forget to
put the tomato in. Then we might relax in front of the telly, we might not. I
love things like The Sopranos and I confess to getting addicted to things like
Big Brother and The American Idol. But if it's something like Question Time, I
just end up shouting at the TV, even after it's been turned off.
Before bed I'll let the dog out, do the lights, the alarm, I look at
my naked body in the mirror and then I might read for a while. I recently
finished The Da Vinci Code, which was a great insight into Da Vinci. Sometimes,
when I think about all those dreams I had as a kid and where I am now, I have to
pinch myself. The hard work, the determination, the sacrifices — they all paid
off. Life right now couldn't be sweeter.”
2005/2014
This is a chapter
from an unpublished book, entitled “A Life in A Day” by Alex Bailey. The book
comprises of a growing selection of lives lived out in one day. The lives range
from a footballer to a teenage boy in Libya. It needs a publisher.
---
Alex Bailey (s. 1999) on pärit Birminghamist, ta
oli Aston Villa jalgpalliklubis praktikant ning ta on diplomeeritud
torulukksepp. Ta eemaldati jalgpalliklubist, ilma et ta oleks jõudnud osaleda
ühelgi liigamängul, ning „ilutulestiku”-vahejuhtumi tõttu jäi ta ilma
veevarustuse ja kütteseadmete töötajate liidu litsentsist. Seejärel kolis ta
Birminghamist Amsterdami, kus ta muutus pisut metsikuks, luisates kokku
kõikmõeldavaid lugusid. Ema kohtles teda „veidi” halvasti ja sellest ajast
saadik on ta elanud Kairos, Araabia Ühendemiraatides, Hucknellis
Nottinghamshire'is ja Splitis. Hetkel elab ta Viinis. Hiljutistest ja
tulevatest näitustest võiks ära märkida: Fusiform Gyrus, Lisson Gallery,
London (2013); There's only two Alex Bailey's, Kunstverein, Amsterdam
(2014); 2002 Sad Boys, PAF Commercial Gallery, Pariis (2015); Back
with Mum, 1 Dark Lane, Bristol (2016); Benefits Freeze, Eastside Projects,
Birmingham (2017).
---
---
Alex Bailey (b. 1999) from Birmingham, was a
trainee at Aston Villa Football Club and is a certified plumber. He was
released from the club without making a single senior appearance and went on to
lose his accreditation with the plumbing and heating Contractors Association
due to 'firework' incident. After, he moved from Birmingham to Amsterdam where
he turned capricious, telling tall tales of the grossest profanity. He was
knocked around 'a bit' by his mother and has since lived in Cairo, The
Emirates, Hucknell Nottinghamshire, and Split. He currently lives in
Vienna. Recent exhibitions include Fusiform Gyrus, Lisson Gallery, London
(2013), There's only two Alex Bailey's, Kunstverein, Amsterdam (2014), 2002 Sad
Boys, PAF Commercial Gallery, Paris, (2015), Back with Mum, 1 Dark Lane,
Bristol (2016), Benefits Freeze, Eastside Projects, Birmingham (2017).
photo: Alex Bailey
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